When Two Worlds Collide
If there was a work and a life to balance for everyone, in the midst of Covid-19, we can probably safely say that life won. If work won, it won for those whose work is to save lives. So life definitely tipped the scale.
I don’t know when and why people started saying they had to balance work and life. To the point it even became part of a company benefit “if you work here, you’ll get a good work/life balance”. As if work was not considered a part of life and placed on the other side of the scale for one to balance. And as if life was not considered to include work.
To me, it may have started with the learning of the English language. I don’t recall growing up bilingual in Brazil ever hearing such an expression in Portuguese nor in French. But when I started learning English I discovered the expression “work/life balance”. I simply assumed, like any expression where multiple words end up signifying something different than what each word individually actually mean, that work/life balance meant knowing when to take a break from your job. It implied also a physical separation, two locations placed on each side of the scale. The place where I live, my home, and the place where I work, my job. And knowing how to divide fairly my attention at each location.
Then came cellphones, a mobile way of contacting you and you contacting others regardless of your location. Perhaps then the two worlds started blending in. Funny to think that aside from cellphones, the way the two worlds commingled was when you brought some work home, or brought your kids to your work, or spouse to the office holiday party. And that continues to imply a physical separation, for one to balance.
Then came technology, personal computing, smart phones, and the internet. Now a virtual world has been created, worldwide, transcending any physical separation, allowing an infinite number of connections to bring people together virtually, and have access to information and tools at an evolutionary speed never seen before.
Fast forward to Covid-19 and now physical separation put your home and your job together in the same place, physically separated from someone else’s home and job. Virtually connected by technology.
What does work/life balance mean now? The two worlds have collided.
Those wearing different masks at each end of the scale, now need to take the masks off. How ironic these days. (It happens that mask is a word that can be consistently translated with the same dual meaning in all three languages I grew up with). Masks off, the person underneath is revealed.
I heard a woman say that she didn’t know her husband was a “we’ll have to circle back” kind of guy when dealing with his team at work, after all these years of living together. I heard a mother say that she saw her baby daughter during her work moment of flow and concentration, and thought to herself “who is that kid?”. I heard of a man who started giving authoritative orders to his team as his wife watched him perform the persona he told her he was at work, surprising his team who had never known him to be that way for years. We all saw that famous video of a news correspondent at his home in Korea being interrupted by his wife and kids on national television. The worlds colliding made the news. How ironic. No longer news these days.
So what does work/life balance really mean these days? Time to let go of that expression. Time to let go of the physical borders we create to ourselves for protection. Time to let go of the masks (the ones that create your different personas, not the ones that protect you from catching a virus!). Time to celebrate life’s win.
Do you crumble when you’re having a business call and your kid flushes the toilet in the room next door? Or simply yet, when your dog barks? Time to reevaluate your foundation. Time to understand how to be useful at the job you chose to do, how to add value, how to be efficient, how to work with others, how to take a break, how to love your kids and family (that includes pets and plants), how to communicate with them, how to make time for them, how to take a break from them, how to allow yourself to have a moment of productive flow at work while acknowledging you are a parent, how to lead a team with authenticity and humanity without wearing a protective mask (again the kind that allows you to play a character you’re not, or hide behind), how to discover who you are and the life you want to have.
Perhaps now the new balance to control is between analog and digital. “If you work here, you’ll get a good analog/digital balance”. Perhaps because two old worlds need to be replaced with two new worlds. Perhaps because human nature needs to have a place to escape to and to come back to; and to find meaning and purpose in the effort to balance it. Perhaps because fear is part of human nature; and people feel safer by being able to wear different masks. Now the analog and the digital. The two kinds, the one that protects you from others and the one that protects you from yourself.
And life goes on.
